1.
Make real decisions.
A man understands and respects the
power of choice. He lives a life of his own creation. He knows that life
stagnates when he fails to decide and flourishes when he chooses a clear path.
When a man makes a decision, he
opens the door he wants and closes the doors he doesn’t want. He locks onto his
target like a guided missile. There’s no guarantee he’ll reach his target, and
he knows this, but he doesn’t need such guarantees. He simply enjoys the sense
of inevitability that comes from pushing the launch button.
A man doesn’t require the approval
of others. He’s willing to follow his heart wherever it leads him. When a man
is following his heart-centered path, it’s of little consequence if the entire
world is against him.
2.
Put your relationships second.
A man who claims his #1 commitment
in life is his relationship partner (or his family) is either too dishonest or
too weak to be trusted. His loyalties are misplaced. A man who values
individuals above his own integrity is a wretch, not a free thinker.
A man knows he must commit to
something greater than satisfying the needs of a few people. He’s not willing
to be domesticated, but he is willing to accept the responsibility that
comes with greater challenges. He knows that when he shirks that duty, he
becomes something less than a man. When others observe that the man is
unyieldingly committed to his values and ideals, he gains their trust and
respect, even when he cannot gain their direct support. The surest way for a
man to lose the respect of others (as well as his self-respect) is to violate
his own values.
Life will test the man to see if
he’s willing to put loyalty to others ahead of loyalty to his principles. The
man will be offered many temptations to expose his true loyalties. A man’s
greatest reward is to live with integrity, and his greatest punishment is what
he inflicts upon himself for placing anything above his integrity. Whenever the
man sacrifices his integrity, he loses his freedom… and himself as well. He
becomes an object of pity.
3.
Be willing to fail.
A man is willing to make mistakes.
He’s willing to be wrong. He’d rather try and fail than do nothing.
A man’s self-trust is one of his
greatest assets. When he second-guesses himself by worrying about failure, he
diminishes himself. An intelligent man considers the prospect of failure, but
he doesn’t preoccupy himself with pointless worry. He accepts that if a failure
outcome occurs, he can deal with it.
A man grows more from failure than
he does from success. Success cannot test his resolve in the way that failure
can. Success has its challenges, but a man learns more about himself when he
takes on challenges that involve risk. When a man plays it safe, his vitality
is lost, and he loses his edge.
4.
Be confident.
A man speaks and acts with
confidence. He owns his attitude.
A man doesn’t adopt a confident
posture because he knows he’ll succeed. He often knows that failure is a likely
outcome. But when the odds of success are clearly against him, he still exudes
confidence. It isn’t because he’s ignorant or suffering from denial. It’s
because he’s proving to himself that he has the strength to transcend his
self-doubt. This builds his courage and persistence, two of his most valuable
allies.
A man is willing to be defeated by
the world. He’s willing to be taken down by circumstances beyond his control.
But he refuses to be overwhelmed by his own self-doubt. He knows that when he
stops trusting himself, he is surely lost. He’ll surrender to fate when
necessary, but he won’t surrender to fear.
5.
Express love actively.
A man is an active giver of love,
not a passive receiver. A man is the first to initiate a conversation, the
first to ask for what’s needed, and the first to say “I love you.” Waiting for
someone else to make the first move is unbecoming of him. The universe does not
respond positively to his hesitation. Only when he’s in motion do the
floodgates of abundance open.
Man is the out-breath of source
energy. It is his job — his duty — to share his love with the world. He must
wean himself from suckling the energy of others and become a vibrant
transmitter of energy himself. He must allow that energy to flow from source,
through him, and into the world. When he assumes this role, he has no doubt he
is living as his true self.
6.
Re-channel sex energy.
A man doesn’t hide his sexuality. If
others shrink from him because he’s too masculine, he allows them to have their
reaction. There’s no need for him to lower his energy just to avoid frightening
the timid. A man accepts the consequences of being male; he makes no apologies
for his nature.
A man is careful not to allow his
energy to get stuck at the level of lust. He re-channels much of his sexual
energy into his heart and head, where it can serve his higher values instead of
just his animal instincts. (You can do this by visualizing the energy rising,
expanding, and eventually flowing throughout your entire body and beyond.)
A man channels his sexual energy
into his heart-centered pursuits. He feels such energy pulsing within him,
driving him to action. He feels uncomfortable standing still. He allows his
sexual energy to explode through his heart, not just his genitals.
7.
Face your fears.
For a man, being afraid of something
is reason enough to do it. A man’s fear is a call to be tested. When a man
hides from his fears, he knows he’s fallen out of alignment with his true self.
He feels weak, depressed, and helpless. No matter how hard he tries to comfort
himself and achieve a state of peace, he cannot overcome his inner feeling of
dread. Only when facing his fears does a man experience peace.
A man makes a friend of risk. He
doesn’t run and hide from the tests of fear. He turns toward them and engages
them boldly.
A man succeeds or fails. A coward
never makes the attempt. Specific outcomes are of less concern to a man than
his direction.
A man feels like a man whenever he
faces the right way, staring straight into his fears. He feels even more like a
man when he advances in the direction of his fears, as if sailing on the winds
of an inner scream.
8.
Honor the masculinity of other men.
When a man sees a male friend
undertaking a new venture that will clearly lead to failure, what does the man
do? Does he warn his friend off such a path? No, the man encourages his friend
to continue. The man knows it’s better for his friend to strike out confidently
and learn from the failure experience. The man honors his friend’s decision to
reach out and make the attempt. The man won’t deny his friend the benefits of a
failure experience. The man may offer his friend guidance, but he knows his
friend must fail repeatedly in order to develop self-trust and courage.
When you see a man at the gym
struggling to lift a heavy weight, do you jump in and say, “Here… let me help
you with that. Maybe the two of us can lift it together”? No, that would rob
him of the growth experience — and probably make a quick enemy of him as well.
The male path is filled with
obstacles. It typically includes more failures than successes. These obstacles
help a man discover what’s truly important to him. Through repeated failures a
man learns to persist in the pursuit of worthy goals and to abandon goals that
are unworthy of him.
A man can handle being knocked down
many times. For every physical setback he experiences, he enjoys a spiritual
advancement, and that is enough for him.
9.
Accept responsibility for your relationships.
A man chooses his friends, lovers,
and associates consciously. He actively seeks out the company of people who
inspire and challenge him, and he willingly sheds those who hold him back.
A man doesn’t blame others for his
relationship problems. When a relationship is no longer compatible with his
heart-centered path, he initiates the break-up and departs without blame or
guilt.
A man holds himself accountable for
the relationships he allows into his life. He holds others accountable for
their behavior, but he holds himself accountable for his decision to tolerate
such behavior.
A man teaches others how to treat
him by the relationships he’s willing to allow into his life. A man refuses to
fill his life with negative or destructive relationships; he knows that’s a
form of self-abuse.
10.
Die well.
A man’s great challenge is to
develop the inner strength to express his true self. He must learn to share his
love with the world without holding back. When a man is satisfied that he’s
done that, he can make peace with death. But if he fails to do so, death
becomes his enemy and haunts him all the days of his life.
A man cannot die well unless he
lives well. A man lives well when he accepts his mortality and draws strength
from knowing that his physical existence is temporary. When a man faces and
accepts the inevitability of death… when he learns to see death as his ally
instead of his enemy… he’s finally able to express his true self. So a man
isn’t ready to live until he accepts that he’s already dead.
How
to Be a Woman?
Now who will write “How to Be a
Woman”?
I’ll tell you what. If you can write
the “How to Be a Woman” article, go ahead and post it on your site, and email
me (syobizng @gmail.com) a link to it. Next week I’ll make a post linking to
all the quality submissions. I will select the article I consider the most
insightful, and that link will be given special prominence at the top of the
results post. So basically the prize is a permanent link and free traffic.
I’ll only link to new articles I
believe offer genuine value to the reader (i.e. interesting, original ideas),
so don’t bother submitting a sloppily written fluff piece or an old article
just to get a link. I’d rather link to 5 thoughtful articles than 50 mediocre
ones. If you can write reasonably well, you should be fine.
There are no requirements for how
you format such an article (you don’t have to follow the ten-item format above).
You can use any personal style you like, including writing a strictly humorous
piece. The main consideration is how much value and insight you deliver.
You don’t have to be a woman to
submit a “How to Be a Woman” article, but there’s a good chance it will help.
No comments:
Post a Comment